Navigating the turns

"In our cars we spend 95% of the time going straight, but it's the turns that determine where we end up."

Have you ever felt like you sometimes just go through the motions?  We all have those days where we might feel as if we are just “cruising along” not paying close attention to everything going on around us.  Whether we are interacting with a child, teaching a lesson, communicating with parents, communicating with other teachers… sometimes we just stay the course and don’t make those turns.

But what would happen if we did make those turns?  What would happen if we changed our course which affected how we interacted with a child, how we taught a lesson, how we communicated with parents, and how we communicated with our peers?  On our journey, the turns will bring about change, allow us to take new routes (approaches) and might even result in a wrong turn.

Bringing about change

Start small… don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.  There is no need to start from scratch with everything!  When you are ready to bring about change in the classroom, evaluate what you would like to change by reflecting on these changes (why do you want to bring about change?  What are you hoping to get out of this change? How will this affect the children?  What support do you need to bring about this change?).  When you feel comfortable and are ready, just jump in and go for it!

Trying new approaches

Your co-teachers are a wealth of knowledge and experience.  Use them as resources.  Bounce ideas off one another.  Ask them for their perspective to get a fresh take on an idea.   No teacher is expected to re-invent the wheel.  Collaborating on student learning is the best way to try something new.

Making mistakes

After reading @twhitford’s most recent post (http://whittyplcguy.blogspot.com/) about fear in learning, I have thought long and hard about ways we can create environments where teachers are not afraid to make a mistake.  I saw this sign and thought what a perfect way to emphasize taking risks and making mistakes:

As educators, we need to model for our students our own ability to make mistakes.  When we are not successful in something, it is our First Attempt In Learning.  How we respond to that attempt sets the stage for our future attempts.  Students need to know it is okay to take risks and that failures are just our first attempts.  We need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and try, try again! 

Those little turns make all the difference – the difference in bringing about change, trying new approaches to learning, and not being afraid to make a mistake.

Raise your words, not your voices

I recently read the quote by Rumi “Raise your words, not your voice… it is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

What a powerful quote!   We all know that it is important not to yell, especially when interacting with children.  But we also know sometimes that is easier said than done.

This past week, Abe and I were rough housing after I got home from work.  We like to wrestle and play around from time to time.  After we were done, he ran right up to Maggie and hit her square in the back while she was coloring.  Obviously this was not what she wanted as she was just minding her own business and coloring all by herself.  My first reaction was to get mad at Abe, yell at him to not hit his sister, and have him sit out for a bit.  Instead I took a different approach.  I calmly (which was not the easiest thing to do) walked him away from Maggie and had the following conversation:

Me - Abe, please tell me what just happened?

Abe - I hit Maggie.

Me - Do you think Maggie wanted you to hit her?

Abe - No.

Me - Why do you think Maggie did not want you to hit her?

Abe - Because she was coloring.

Me - Exactly.  She was not wrestling with us so she probably did not want to get hit.

Me - Is it nice to hit your sister or your friends?

Abe - No.

Me - When do you think it is okay to hit me or mom or your sister?

Abe - I don’t know.

Me - Would it be okay to hit when we are eating dinner?

Abe - No.

Me - Would it be okay to hit when we are reading books?

Abe - No.

Me - Would it be okay to hit when we are wrestling at home?

Abe - Yes.

Me - So, it sounds like the only time we can hit and be rough is when we are wrestling.  Does that sound like a deal?

Abe - Yes. 

Me - So when can we hit and be rough with mom, dad or Maggie?

Abe - When we are wrestling.

Me - Can we wrestle or hit at school?

Abe - No.

Me - Where can we wrestle?

Abe - At home.

Me - Do you think you can follow those rules to keep everyone safe, including you?

Abe - Yes.

Me - Great!  So just so I know, when can we wrestle?

Abe - When we are at home.

Me - Perfect!  Thanks for talking with me.

Abe - I love you, Dad (he says this often and it just warms my heart)

Me - I love you too, buddy!

This is just a short example of how I raised my words and not my voice.  I raised the expectations of when it is appropriate to wrestle, where it is appropriate to wrestle, and had him repeat this multiple times.  In future days, prior to wrestling, we would rehash this conversation to make sure he understood the when, where and why we can wrestle.  By raising my words and expectations, even when it is difficult when my emotions are getting the best of me, I helped Abe understand why we can only wrestle at home!  In our classrooms, it is so important to raise our words to help the children understand the why.  Are you raising your words when your emotions are running high?  We owe it to our children and ourselves to raise our words and not our voices!

Come a little closer

This past week at our church service, our pastor told a story about a small village in Peru.  This little village was torn apart from years of infighting and violence - almost like a modern day Hatfields and McCoys.  The local pastor gather a group of villagers around the scripture which he placed in the center.  The villagers stood around the scripture in a rather large circle.  The pastor then asked the villagers to take a step forward.  Puzzled, they look around and carefully took a small step forward not knowing what to think.  The pastor then asked them to take another step closer, and then another step until they were standing shoulder to shoulder.  The pastor then asked the villagers what had occurred.  Silence fell over the villagers, afraid to speak up, until a little 11 year-old girl broke the silence and said, "we took steps together and now we are one close circle".

This message from the sermon rings true to the essence of collaboration.  There are physical barriers (walls) and emotional barriers (hurt feelings) that prevent collaboration from occuring in our schools.  Teachers can isolate themselves and their knowledge because of physical and emotional barriers.  But what would happen if those barriers were torn down?  What would happen is teachers stood around and replaced the scripture with a child?

As the teachers shared their ideas and collective knowledge, they would be able to find new ideas and ways to help that child.  As they took a step closer to the child and better understand his challenges, they would continue to share ideas and their collective knowledge.  With each step forward, more ideas and knowledge would be shared.   We cannot expect any one teacher to have the answer to all the questions and challenges thrown her way.  However, together as a group, we can use our collective knowledge, experiences and ideas to help each and every child!  As teachers, we can put aside our differences, focus on the children, and work interdependently with one another to help out each other.

It definitely takes a village to raise a child and let's not be afraid to allow the village to raise the child!

One Word

I recently sat in on a teleseminar presented by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page as they talked about their book One word that will change your life.  The following is my reflection on that teleseminar.

It is that time of the year – that time when people think about their New Year’s Resolutions – exercise more, lose weight, eat healthier, get organized …

A study from the University of Bristol found that 87% of people create resolutions for the new year.  After 30 days, 50% of those resolutions have already failed.  More surprisingly, only 12% of resolutions are successful at the end of one year.

So why are New Year’s resolutions so unsuccessful?  A large part of it has to do with our mentality with resolutions.  We often look at resolutions as something we need to conquer or beat.  Or sometimes we just forget about our resolutions or our goals.  So what can we do to make it “stick”?

The authors advocate for creating a “one word” focus.  This one word will direct your life, both personally and professionally, for the year with a laser-like focus.  Focusing on one word will allow you to focus on your hopes, dreams and aspirations through the year.

This one word is the filter for all 6 dimensions of your life - spiritual, physical, mental, relational, financial, emotional.  This word will help guide you and your decisions over the next year in all aspects of the 6 dimensions.

So how do you go about finding your one word.  In order for this to be a powerful process, you want the word to be memorable and transferable.  For some people, it will come automatically.  For others in can be a bit of a process.  Gordon, Britton and Page recommend examining three elements when trying to decide your word for the year.

·         Look in – This is a time to prepare your heart.  Spend some time getting unplugged from the distractions of life.  Get away and create space, both mentally and emotionally, and contemplate and reflect what you need for the upcoming year.

·         Look up - Discover your word.  Discover when you are open to that word so you can be your best or embrace the challenge you need to face. 

·         Look out - Live the word.  Your word now becomes a living, breathing organism that allows you to be the word.

Power of one word is in its simplicity and its depth.  You own it and personalize it - it is not about winning or conquering your "word" like a resolution.   It is about a focus for the year, those are the things you learn about your word over the course of the year.  You will journey with the word, unpack  and focus your life with the word.

Most important aspect of one word - how we live it and bring it to life.   Keep word in front of us.  One of the authors described how he and his family each paint the word on a canvas and post all their words in the kitchen, since that is where they seem to spend most of their time.  You will want to post your word and revisit it each day.  You can add your word to your screen saver, share your word with your inner circle of friends and family, periodically start conversations about our word "how is it going?  How are you living the word?"  You can even create a word document with your word "All things _____"  and when you experience something to do with your word, you add it to the document so it helps you remain true to that word all year long.

One word can change everything… so what will be your one word for the year?

Village Mentality

You know the old adage “It takes a village to raise a child.”  What exactly does that mean?  Does it mean that we as individual families are incapable of raising our own children by ourselves?  Does it mean that the more people that influence the lives of a child the better?

My answer to those questions would be “no” and “yes”.  Most individual families are capable of raising their own children by themselves.  Does that mean they should?  I don’t think so…

Think of our classrooms.  Are we as teachers capable of caring for and teaching the children in our classrooms?  Absolutely!  But wouldn’t it make more sense to have all hands on deck when you battle a storm?  Each child is part of an individual classroom.  But we cannot be expected to meet the needs of all the children in our classroom by ourselves.  No one is THAT talented.

If we can view the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN, it will make it easier to meet their needs because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  If we can view the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN, it will make it easier to get to know them because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  If we can view the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN, it will make it easier to get to their families because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  If we can view the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN, it will make it easier to step in when help is needed because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  If we can view the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN, it will make it easier to go that extra degree and rise above and beyond because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.

Along with viewing the children as ALL OF OUR CHILDREN comes some great responsibility.  When you see a child struggling to make good decisions when sharing a toy, you can and should offer assistance because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  When you see a child crying, you can and should comfort that child because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  When you see a child succeeding in a new task, you can and should celebrate with that child because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  When you see a child afraid to try something new, you can and should reassure that child and support him because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.  All of these examples should be done even and especially if a child is not in “your class” because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN.

The key to remember in this “village mentality” is we are all part of the village.  Just because someone steps in to help with that child, does not mean you are any less of a teacher.  Instead, it sends the message to that child that “we ALL care for you and will take care of you.”  We cannot become frustrated when someone helps a child because they are ALL OF OUR CHILDREN and we cannot do everything by ourselves.  We need help.  Sometimes we need help and can ask for it.  Other times, we need help and don’t even know it.  This is why the “village mentality” can be so powerful.   The village keeps the focus on the child and can be there for the child at ALL times.  Embrace the power of the village and keep the focus on the child. 

These are OUR children… not your children or my children!

Make Every Day a Holiday

Isn’t it funny where you find inspirations?  It could be something you see, something you hear, something you experience first-hand.  Or it could be from a quote, or a random interaction, or a passing glance.  I was eating a piece of Dove chocolate and on the inside of the wrapper was the quote, “Make every day a holiday.”

The more I reflected upon that quote, the more of an impact it made on me and the more it inspired me.  “Make every day a holiday.”

What is so special about holidays?

The holidays are a time which most people spend with their dearest friends and family.  Those that are closest to us in our lives are the ones we typically spend the holidays with.  Those people that we love, we care for, we cherish the time with, those are the ones we spend the holidays with.  Make every day a holiday.

The holidays are a time when most people reminisce.  They laugh together, cry together, relive the “good times” together.  It is a time to reflect together on the year or years and celebrate together.   These good times are often celebrated over hearty food and drinks, making the occasion more special!   Make every day a holiday.

The holidays are a time when most people put aside their worries, their fears, and their troubles.  The holidays bring out that special moment in us all where we can focus on the positives and “forget” about the negatives – even if it is only for a brief moment.   Make every day a holiday.

The holidays are a time when most people are thankful for what they have, and not worried about what they do not have.  They take the time to think about all the blessings they have in life.  Whether it is good health, a job, a loving family… there are many reasons to be thankful in life.  Make every day a holiday.

So with a series of holidays coming up in the next few months, be sure to think about what is special to you during the holidays.  Be sure to bottle that love, that energy, that spirit and “make every day a holiday”.

The Energy Bus

I recently read The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon (there is also a picture book if you want to bring the message to children).  This is a very powerful book with a simple message:  you control the positive energy around you!  Jon Gordon outlines 10 rules to controlling your happiness:  Here are a few of my favorite bits, pieces and thoughts from the book:

Rule #1 – You are the driver of the bus! 

This is the most important rule because you can only control yourself and the path you choose to take.   As the driver, you are the one who must choose your vision of where you want to go.  You have the best seat and the best view of your life so it’s up to you

Rule #2 – Desire, Vision and Focus move your bus in the right direction. 

Focus on your vision each day for 10 minutes and see yourself creating everything you wrote down on that paper.  It is the law of energy, the law of attraction - the more we focus on something, the more we think about something and the more it shows up in our lives.  Thoughts are magnetic.  What we think about, we attract.  What we think about expands and grows.  What we put our energy and attention on starts to show up in our life.  And the energy we project through our thoughts is the energy we receive.  We are winners, not whiners!

Rule #3 – Fuel your ride with Positive Energy!

E + P = O (Events + Perception = Outcome or Events + Positive Energy = Outcome) We can't control the events in our life but we can control how we perceive them and our perception and response to the events determine our outcome.  There will always be potholes or roadblocks in our life.  But it's how we choose to deal with the events in our life that means everything.  Negative energy - Let it go, release it, throw it out, transform it… ex when the work is piled high, be thankful you have a job

One Great Golf Shot Theory - after playing a round of golf, people  usually don't think about all the bad shots they made but rather focus on the one great shot they had that day - which leads them to want to play again.  Be sure to focus on the positives!

Rule #4 – Invite People on your bus and share you vision for the road ahead

Keep asking people to get on the bus.  The worst they can say is "no".  If you don't ask, they won't know to get on.  Plus, the more people you pick up along the way, the more energy you create during your ride.  "I am not bound to win, I am bound to be true.  I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light that I have." - Abraham Lincoln

Rule #5 – Don’t waste your energy on those who don’t get on the bus

Don't worry about the people that get on your bus.  You can't drive anyone else's bus.  You can only drive your bus.  The more energy you spend worrying about the people who did not get on your bus, the less you will have for the people who are on the bus.  And if you are worrying about the people who didn't get on the bus, you won't have the energy to keep asking new people to get on.

Ultimate Rule of Positive Energy - Our positive energy and vision must be greater than anyone's and everyone's negativity.  Your certainty must be greater than everyone's doubt.  Positive energy is like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger it gets.  Repetition is the key and the more you focus on positive energy the more it becomes your natural state.

Rule #6 – Post a sign that says NO ENERGY VAMPIRES ALLOWED on your bus

Meet with the people not on the bus and tell them we need a "positive and supportive team and whoever is negative will be kicked off the bus or left at the station"   You give people a chance to change and they don't get it, then you got to kick them off the bus.  Or else they will ruin your ride

Rule #7 – Enthusiasm attracts more passengers and energizes them during the ride

Enthusiasm comes from the Greek "entheos" which means "inspired" or "filled with divine".  If you maintain your enthusiasm, more people are likely to get on board your bus!

Rule #8 – Love your passengers!

To really tap the power of your heart and lead with positive, contagious energy, you must love your passengers.  You must be a love magnet.  You become a love magnet by sharing your love generously.  Enthusiasm gets them excited about being on your bus, but love is what keeps them on your bus.  Love takes time.  It is a process, not a goal.  Love is something that needs to be nurtured.  Focus on bringing out the best in each member of your team.  When you love someone, you want the best for them, you want them to shine.  And the best way to do this is to help them discover the value inside them.

5 Ways to Love your passengers

·         Make Time for Them

o    Get to know them as people, not numbers.  Just as you would tend to a garden, you need to cultivate your team with love

·         Listen to them

o    Your employees just want to be heard, so listen to them and hear them.  Empathy is the key

·         Recognize them

o    Honor them for who they are and what they do

o    The more you recognize them for doing things right, the more they will do things right.  Feed the positive dog inside them and watch them grow!

·         Serve them

o    Serve their growth, their career, their future, and their spirits so they work, life and being on your bus

·         Bring out the best in them

o    The best way any leader can bring out the best in someone is to help each person develop his/her strengths and provide an opportunity for him/her to utilize them

o    If you really want to love your team, help them do what they do best

Rule #9 – Drive with purpose

When we drive with purpose, we don't get tired or burned out.  When you fuel up on purpose, you find the excitement in the mundane, the passion in every day, and the extraordinary in the ordinary.  As the driver of the bus, you have the best view and vision so you will need to communicate your vision and purpose to your passengers.

Rule #10 - Have fun and enjoy the ride!

Don't forget - Too blessed to be stressed.  A study was conducted of 95 year olds and when asked what they would do differently if they had to live their life again they responded:

o    Reflect more, enjoy more moments and more moments of joy

o    Take more risks and chances.  Life is too short not to go for it

o    Leave a legacy - something that would live on after they die

Life is a test.  Each adversity helps us grow.  Negative events and people teach us what we don't want so we can focus our energy on what we do want.  Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this challenge?  What is it teaching me?"

REMEMBER, YOU ONLY HAVE ONE RIDE THROUGH LIFE SO GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT AND ENJOY THE RIDE!